When The Lost Has Been Found

I love the parable of the lost coin.  It is such a relevant Biblical example of my life all too often. In case you aren’t familiar with it, the parable come from the Gospel of Luke.

“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’  In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.” (Luke 15:8-10 New Living Translation)

You see, I lose things all the time.  I often will put something somewhere and remember putting it somewhere else.  Or once in a while the kids or Jen will relocate the item from one place to another.  I’ve actually been known to wander around the house looking for my mobile phone while holding it to my ear in conversation!

According to the "Lost & Found" survey released by Pixie*, a location app for iPhones, Americans spend an average of 2.5 days a year looking for lost items.  2.5 DAYS!!!  That’s 1/2 of a work week a year that we spend looking for things we lose or misplace. Guess what the number one lost item is… the TV remote!  Keys, glasses and phones were the other top lost items.

I don’t know about you but I get extremely frustrated when I have to spend any significant amount of time looking for something that’s been lost.  Usually my first response is to ask the family, “Alright, where did you put my [whatever item I am looking for]?”  “It was right here when I left for work this morning!”

Most of the time I spend looking for items around the house involves looking for things I misplaced, not lost.  But every once in a while something falls out of my pocket or someone in the house actually did move it and it truly is lost.  At least to me.

On our family’s recent trip to Maine one of the stops we made was to visit my brother Peter and his wife, Laurie.  They live on a lake. 

Shortly after our arrival we changed into our swimsuits and headed to the water’s edge to enjoy some boating, fishing and swimming.  As the kids were swimming in the neck-high water Jack began to cry.  I immediately began asking what was wrong.  He wouldn’t respond but simply continued to cry.  After multiple attempts to determine what was making him so sad it dawned on me what the problem was.

Eight years ago Jack was born with a cleft lip and palate.  He has had two corrective surgeries and in preparation for the third which took place August 2nd the orthodontist needed to use what’s called a spacer to move Jack’s upper jaw into just the right position in preparation for surgery.  Following the removal of the spacer Jack received a retainer-like device to hold everything in place.  

As we swam in the water I asked him, “Did your retainer fall out?”  He slowly nodded his head, confirming my fear.  We were 6 days away from the surgery we had waited years for and all I thought was it was going to have to be postponed as his teeth would have moved too much.

We got the kids out of the water and my brother and I began to look for the device.  The retainer looked just like the invisible braces you see on TV and the only question that came to mind was, “How in the world are we going to find this thing?!” 

I began to pray, as did Jen.  Peter was in the water repeatedly diving down to investigate the bottom of the lake as I tried to look from above.  Thankfully the lake was extremely clear.  Soon after the search began I joined him in the water. After several minutes of alternate dives and trying to feel along the bottom with our feet, the clouds, thunder and lightning caused us to halt the rescue mission. 

To be honest I felt defeated.  The plan was to purchase a pair of goggles from a local store an resume the operation the next day as night was quickly falling.

The next morning around 7 Jen said, “Now would be the perfect time to look for the retainer as the lake is so calm.  We could see the still water from our bedroom window.  I went downstairs and made my way to the dock.  Once there I lay flat out on my belly and put my face an inch from the water, blocking the glare as best I could with my hand.  I could see the bottom of the lake pretty well, but all I saw were fresh water mussels along with some weeds and leaves.  

My focus shifted to the lake floor near the bottom of the ladder that attached to the dock.  I noticed what I figured was a shiny mussel shell, but it caught my attention enough to warrant further investigation.  I slowly got to my feet, trying not to shake the dock too much and retrieved an oar.  Returning to my prostrate position I began to poke at the shiny item, noticing that it had a curved edge.

Getting more hopeful by the moment I realized I needed to enter the water.  There was one barrier though.  I was in my shorts and a t-shirt and didn’t want to take my eyes off the item to go up to the house and change into my swim trunks.  So I did what any man all by himself with no one around for miles would do.

For the record I didn’t strip down completely before entering the lake.  Slowly descending into the rather refreshing water I placed my foot over the shiny object and maneuvered it to my hand.  It was the retainer.

I couldn’t believe it!  I got out of the water, gathered my items and made my way back to the house.  Jen and I were the only ones awake at the time.  Once inside I showed her my discovery and she cried.  Tears of joy are a wonderful thing, especially when God is involved.

I waited for Jack to come downstairs and when he did I showed him what I had found.  He was not nearly as excited as I hoped he would be because he didn’t like wearing it in the first place!  But that didn’t steal my joy.  Having already washed it thoroughly I placed it in his mouth and voila -  it didn’t fit!  His jaw had moved just enough so that the retainer no longer stayed connected to his teeth!

With some finagling I was able to reshape the hard molded plastic retainer just enough to make it stay.  Because we found the device we were able to enjoy the rest of our time in Maine and the surgery 5 days later was a success!

The question that this whole experience leads to is this:  What thing of significant value in your life has been lost?  I’m not speaking about a physical object.  For example, have you lost your connection to someone you love?  Or have you lost hope in your ability to overcome an addiction?  Maybe you have lost faith in God’s ability to help you get through whatever it is you are experiencing.

Friend I am writing this to you to testify that God is in the business of restoring that which is lost.  He cares about us enough to hear our cries for help.  Just like He heard our prayers that day on the dock in Maine He hears you.  

Maybe what’s lost is you.  Maybe you are the one who has wandered away from someone who loves you.  The parable in Luke 15 is all about the sinner returning to a loving Father and that same Father is waiting right now for you to fall into His arms.

If you decide to do that, He will respond with much more joy than we can imagine.

* Here is a link to the Pixie survey:

5 Ways to Love Your Wife During Christmas

In a recent conversation with a man who is having some struggles in his marriage, I emphasized the importance of Philippians 2:3 which says,"Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."  This truth is intended to prevail in all times and places. And we all know this is the time of year when many of us are more apt to live out the reality "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts. 20:35.  That sounds good, doesn't it?  But living it out isn't always easy.

The more I read blogs and articles the more I see the prevalence of lists.  So in keeping with what seems to be the popular trend, here's me leaping onto the bandwagon!  Here's a list of 5 Ways to Bless Your Wife During the Christmas Season:

1. Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas

This can be done during any 12 days of the season.  Jen and I do it December 13-24th.  We simply have a small gift for each other, wrapped, for each of those days.  We sit together early in the morning before the kids get up, and exchange the gifts.  The emphasis on this idea is small gifts that don't break the bank and are thoughtful.  I have gotten Jen fuzzy socks, chocolate, candles, chapstick, Starbucks gift cards, etc.  The key is knowing what she likes!  And it doesn't have to be a mutual decision to do this, you could just start doing it on your own.

2.  Cook or bake with her

I know this may make some of you roll your eyes, but I believe it's something women want!  One night, during a marriage life group that met at our home, one of the wives spoke up saying she would love for her husband to bake with her.  So we asked them to do that for homework.  And it turned out being a great experience for them!  For me this can be challenging because I like to take charge of the kitchen.  I want things done the way I want them done and I want everyone to stay out of my way!  I have learned, however, that working together, like Jen and I did for hours on Thanksgiving, is a meaningful way to connect with your spouse!

3.  Offer to watch the kids so she can do something fun for herself

Recently Jen has been having coffee with friends on Saturday mornings.  It has been a real joy for me as her husband to watch her have this time with other moms.  She is developing friendships and taking time for herself.  And she deserves it with all the time she gives everyone else all week long!  So I hang with the kids and we either meet her out and about and go on with our day or she returns home to us energized by her recent girl time!  Sometimes she uses her time to get a pedicure or once or twice a year she even gets a massage.  If she hasn't had time for herself, don't wait for her to act like she needs it, step up and provide her with a great opportunity for her!

4.  Watch a romantic Christmas movie with her

With the availability of on demand television and movies, most of the year we don't have a digital video recorder (DVR).  But at the end of each October I go to the Spectrum cable office and pick up my DVR, and the ladies there know why.  It's so I can begin recording Hallmark Christmas movies!  We can debate the decision of broadcasters to start showing Christmas movies before Halloween another time, so for now stay with me.  Do I love all the movies we watch? No.  Some are rather dumb to be honest.  The real joy comes in kicking back with Jen and watching light-hearted stories of people enjoying Christmas.  And some of the Hallmark stories even involve and aspect of faith!  Me personally I enjoy the antics of Ralph (A Christmas Story), and Buddy the Elf (Elf) is frequently playing on our screens during the holidays. But when it comes to really enjoying time in front of the TV with Jen, Hallmark is always a good choice!

5.  Hang some mistletoe...and use it to your advantage! 

If your kids are reading this over your shoulder, you might want to have them leave the room for this one - just kidding.  Each year Jen hangs a mistletoe decoration in our house.  As she put it up this year she accused me of never taking advantage of it last year.  I remember her standing under it a couple times, saying "EXCUSE ME!" More often than not I didn't pick up on the hint.  So this year she put it over the doorway to the room we gather in most, and I am making a point to use it.  If you decide to do this, guys, put it in a public place in your homes.  If you have kids, one of the best ways you can teach your kids about being a good dad is by kissing your wife in front of them.  Let them see you loving on her, even if they do say "YUCK" like ours do!

These are simple, easy and inexpensive ideas for you to take advantage of this Christmas season to show your wife just how much you love her.  After all, doesn't she deserve it?  I'd love to hear what you think of these ideas and please feel free to share ideas you have - I can always use the help!

Surrendering in the World of Addiction

On April 30th Jen and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.  It was a great day, starting with worship at church, followed by a delicious meal with friends, and ended with the kids’ first viewing of Mary Poppins. It was a memorable day for sure.

Today is a very memorable day as well, though for a different reason.  Today marks a very dark day in my life.  That’s because 3 years ago today I found myself riding in an ambulance to our local hospital.  My brain was struggling to function as I had quit drinking cold turkey, which it turns out is a really dumb thing to do when you are chemically dependent on alcohol.

In many ways I wish it wasn’t so memorable.  I wished I could forget the feeling of the fireman holding me up and splashing my face with water.  I wish I could forget looking out the ambulance window only to see the furniture truck that had just arrived to deliver my sons’ first “big boy” beds.  I wish I didn't remember many things that day…

I’m not sure how many other people in my situation feel when this annual date comes around, but I don’t like it.  At first glance it’s a painful reminder of the embarrassment I thrust upon my family and friends, my church and myself.  And it’s a reminder of the wedge I had driven between Jen and me.  I had nearly thrown away the most important earthly relationship one can imagine…All because of my addiction.

While I was in rehab

Mother's Day 2014 

More fun while I was away...

But that’s what addiction does.  Addiction becomes our God.  Whatever we are addicted to becomes the all in all, the most important thing - at the expense of everything else.  People often say, “Why don’t people addicted to drugs or alcohol just stop?”  I understand why they say that, and maybe those reading this blog fall into that school of thought.  As a Christian in full-time worship ministry, how could I possibly slip to the point of being controlled by a substance?  

I don’t mind those questions, not that I have ever been approached by anyone brave enough to ask me that last one.  The reason I don’t mind is because I now know the answer:  I wasn’t living a surrendered life.

Living a surrendered life means that you not only listen to God and His Word, but you trust what He says.  It means you take James 5:16 seriously: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  Living a surrendered life means you put into practice the words of Paul in Romans when he wrote, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” (Romans 12:2).  

But it is difficult, if not impossible, to do those things when you hole up and live an isolated life. That’s because we weren’t meant to do life alone!  We were designed to live in community with others, so that when something goes wrong we can rely on others to pray for, encourage, and correct us.  The reason we don’t do that is because we are afraid of what others will think.  We get bogged down with the wrong thinking that goes something like this:  “What if someone finds out I’m ________?  Go ahead and fill in the blank.  Lying. Stealing. Cheating. Binge Eating.  Watching pornography. Filled with fear. Smoking. Drinking. Involved in an immoral relationship. Abusing Pain killers. Using illegal drugs. Gossiping. Having an affair. The list goes on and on…

The problem with that kind of thinking is that we will never break free while isolated.  We need others.  Others who will not judge, but who will remind us that we are created by God, “in His image.”  I encourage anyone and everyone to be part of a Christian community.  Find one that welcomes broken, hurting people.  Find one where you are reminded of the future God has for you instead of your past. There are strong faith communities everywhere you look. If you can’t find one where you live, then I will help you. All you have to do is ask.  You can email me at quimby@jenandmikeq.com.   

I mentioned earlier that I wished that dark day in 2014 wasn’t so memorable. In some ways that is still true.  However, the further I get from that date, the more grateful I become that God continues to heal and restore my life in ways that I never imagined.  My marriage is getting stronger and stronger every day.  I’m always connected to those who are struggling and I’m in a place where I can point them to the source of ultimate healing - the healing that comes when you let Jesus into your life.

If you feel trapped and are willing to consider a way out, then I invite you to pray this prayer:

“Dear God.  My life is a mess and I need help.  I can’t live it on my own.  I confess to you that (insert addition, behavior, etc. here) has taken over my life.  I’m sorry, and I want to live for the greater purpose for which You have created me. Help me find a trustworthy person to share with and a church where I will be welcomed in my brokenness, so that I can be healed as the Bible says.  Help me to trust in Your Son, Jesus, as the Leader of my life and the Forgiver of my sins. Thank You God for hearing my prayer and for what You will do in me.” 

If you prayed that prayer, let Jen and me know as we would love to pray for you and encourage you in your new start!  

I’ll close with one of my favorite verses: Lamentations 3:22-23 “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

God's in the mess!

On December 18th our family went to church as we normally do.  As a pastor, Sunday mornings can be long, especially if we all head to Wegman’s (an amazing local grocery store) after the services.  It’s a great time to let my kids enjoy their childcare while Jen and I unwind with a cup of coffee, meeting people as we shop.  

When we finally arrived home, I finished unloading the equipment into the house and the kids and Jen were trying to prepare me for what they had seen!  During that time we had received more than 3 feet of snow, followed by some warmer temperatures accompanied by rain. Off of our kitchen we have a series of pergolas that connect to each other.  And under the weight of the snow and ice two of them completely collapsed!

The fallen wood ripped pieces of siding from the house. and our outdoor grill was crushed like a pop can.  One of the main boards that fell stopped about 3 inches from a sliding glass door leading to our den.  The damage to the deck below still cannot be determined due to the snow, but we are guessing there is some.

When things like this happen we (hopefully) immediately thank God that no one, including the dog, was in that area when it collapsed.  We are also grateful that the damage wasn’t worse!

Later the afternoon we began the process of filing a claim with the insurance agency to see if they would be able to help us out.  It was then that I saw yet another example of how God goes before us.  Not only did he protect the living beings in our home, but we had just received a gift that was the exact amount of the deductible!  I love when God shows up like that!

Deuteronomy 31:8 reminds us, "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”  We can take these words to heart!  

Maybe you are fearing what’s ahead in a new year.  Maybe 2016 was the year to forget.  Maybe your world is crashing down around you, just like those pergolas at our house.  

My hope is that you will hear these words from Deuteronomy and believe them.  And if you don’t see God working in your circumstances, it’s ok to ask Him for a sign!  Just the other day we peered out the kitchen window into the mess of our deck and saw what survived:  a beautiful angel hanging from one of the remaining beams! 

That angel was a reminder to us that God is in the rubble of our lives.

What's Your Status?

What would you say your status is today?.  Yesterday is no more and who knows what’s in store for tomorrow! On Thursday evening we had a rehearsal with some vocalists from our worship team and I was telling them that at 43 I’m having the best time in my life in ministry!  

Even though I’ve been in full-time ministry for over 20 years, it’s been the last couple of years that have made all the difference.  I’ve been freed from the shackles of alcohol addiction, I’ve seen my marriage renewed and restored and I’ve experienced the love of God in unimaginable ways!

It’s that very same love that has set me free and transformed me into a fully-devoted follower of Jesus.  I’ve been a Christian for a long time.  However in the last couple of years my status has changed from being a “fan” of Jesus to being a “follower”.

We are all familiar with the term status.  In fact those of us who use Facebook are all too cozy with “status”.  We use status to show the world what’s going on with our families, our jobs, our churches, and our pets.  And in recent months in particular some of us certainly like to show our status in regards to politics.  In fact it seems some of us are more interested in showing our disdain for the candidates we can’t stand than we are lifting up what we consider to be the good qualities in the candidates of our choosing!  But I digress…

There is however one status that matters.  There is one status that followers of Christ can rest in.  Here it is:  Forgiven.  Or maybe you prefer Redeemed?  Or how about Restored? Some of you like the word Free.  The truth is these are all valid for the ones who call Jesus Lord.  And the best news is that it has nothing to do with us and everything to with God’s goodness and mercy.

In the Old Testament book of Lamentations, in verses 22-23 of chapter 3 it says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Notice it doesn’t say it’s because of all the great things you and I have done!  It doesn’t say we survive because of how many people we win over to our side by publicly demonstrating our spiritual or political wisdom! 

When you read this scripture you can’t allow yourself to wallow in defeat which is what the enemy wants.  If were were completely transparent some of our status' would read: burned out by relationships, worthless, addict, broke, anxious, depressed, or maybe something worse.  But the good news is it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with a loving God Who decides every day to show us compassion, forgiveness and infinite love.  WOW!  

So today, consider your status.  There are many words you could use to fill in the blank. Our hope and prayer for you is that you come to the realization of the fact that there is only one status-giver, and that is the one true God - the Father of Jesus.  And His status for you today, if you choose to surrender your life to Jesus, is that of Child of God! 

Red Letter Day

Good Friday was a Red Letter day.  We say that because in many Bibles you find the words that Jesus spoke written in red ink.  There are a couple reasons for that I suppose.  One, the red ink stands out among the black text.  Pretty simple right?  But I like to consider a second reason for the red ink.  It represents His blood.  And together - the words He spoke and the blood He shed - mean everything.

I could go on for pages with each set of words, but consider these:

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. I am thirsty.  Father, into your hands I commit my spirit. It is finished!  Dear mother, here is your son. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

As I was read in Mark 15 this morning I tried to imagine what was happening to Jesus.  And the more I reflected on it, the more my heart sank.  We have all seen the images on television or the internet of people being beheaded, burned alive in cages, or dropped feet first from very tall buildings.  And like Jesus these people weren’t criminals.  They didn't deserve to be treated this way.  What makes it worse for me is when they show pictures or video of the perpetrators of these heinous acts with cold stares or heartless smiles on their faces.  I must confess my first reaction is not to utter the words of Jesus when He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)  I’d much rather reach into my television or computer screen and inflict some discomfort on them!  I cannot understand how people can find pleasure in causing someone else to feel fear and pain.

It’s not fun to seriously consider what the soldiers did to Jesus.  They took him to the palace and called all the other guards to come along.  It was Jesus against all of them.  He didn’t have a buddy to turn to or a hand to grab for some mild comfort or reassurance.  He was among a whole host of hate-filled people who were enjoying themselves as He suffered.  It wasn’t enough to simply kill him.  They needed to prolong the process.  In Mark 15:19-20 we read, 

Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. 20 And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him."

The more I reflect on all of this the more I realize that the people committing these acts are no worse than I am when I envy, lie, steal, lust with my eyes, gossip, use foul language, or disrespect my wife.  

By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=16915011

I remember seeing The Passion of the Christ (2004) for the first time in a local theater.  At one point while Jesus is being led to the place where He would be crucified, He fell down and the camera angle was such that Jesus was looking right at everyone watching.  Up until this point He had endured so much already that I remember myself crying and asking why didn’t He just give up and die!  And then I remember thinking that He had to finish so that God’s plan was complete.  He needed to die like a common criminal and not sin once along the way.  He needed to endure the mocking, the laughter so that we could all hear him say, “Father forgive them.”  He needed to fulfill the Father’s plan so we don’t have to live forever in pain and unbearable suffering.

When you think about Good Friday, try and remember that it is a Red Letter Day.  The words are red so they stand out.  And they are red because they have Jesus’ blood all over them.  And it’s that blood that allows us to come before a loving God and have our sins forgiven and our eternity sealed.  

If you want to know more about what all this means and how to have an everlasting relationship with the one true God we would love to hear from you! Simply email us at quimby@jenandmikeq.com.  You can also find some helpful information here: peacewithgod.net

A Broken Chair

Recently I was in a leadership meeting for my family's local church, where I serve as the Worship Pastor.  The meeting started as it usually does, with a nice dinner usually provided by whoever is hosting the meeting.  After some time of fellowship over our meal, it was time to get down to the business of the church.  

When we plan, we talk about how we can best honor God and the people we are privileged to serve.  Whether it's about how to create a safe, exciting environment for kids, or how allocate funds to be used in serving our community, or simply deciding on what equipment and supplies we need to purchase we cover a lot of territory in our meetings. 

At this particular meeting, we were reviewing some details of a previous meeting when all of a sudden one of our team members went crashing to the floor!  His chair simply broke underneath him!  He wasn't leaning back or sitting in some unusual manner - he was just sitting there.

A few of us jumped up to aid our downed fellow and immediately the questions started flying.  "What did you do?" "Were you leaning back?"  I'll admit, I was holding back laughter as guys often do when one of our own experiences such a moment. 

Isn't that how life can be sometimes?  We are strolling along, doing our thing and BAM, something comes out of nowhere and we are left looking around wondering what the heck just happened! And quite often the people around us are left asking the same questions I mentioned about, implying something was our fault.  

Once our teammate went down, a couple in our group jumped to his aid, helping him to his feet and getting him another chair.  Once he was situated and the laughter and concern had died down we went on with the meeting, taking care of some much needed business. We then ended our time together with a powerful time of prayer, lifting each other up before our living God.

The illustration from that evening has lingered in my mind for a while.  I think about all the ways it relates to the body of Christ.  I narrowed it down to this: How do we respond when people around us go crashing down?  What is our knee-jerk reaction when a brother or sister's world falls apart?  Do we rush to his or her aid?  Do we stand by and stare?  Do we immediately start asking questions like Job's friends did, assuming that the person must have done something to deserve what came his way?

When circumstances go bad for those around us it certainly can be because they made bad decisions. Or it can be because they are simply at the wrong place at the right time.  And sometimes life just stinks and we are wronged through no fault of our own.

Whatever the case, if we carry the label "Christian" we need to respond appropriately in times of trial and darkness.  Because if we call ourselves Christians, we are proclaiming that we, like Jesus, are willing to respond in love.  

Take for instance the woman caught in adultery in John chapter 8.  She was brought before the crowd (by the religious leaders nonetheless!) because the law instructed that she be stoned.  In stead of Jesus condemning her, he comes to her aid.  He then invites those in the crowd who are without sin to cast the first stone.  After that he lets her know that He does not accuse her.  Finally, after all the other steps, he lets her know that her behavior is sinful, and that she is to do it no more.

Notice that Jesus doesn’t ignore her sin!  But please friends understand that his first response is quite different than what we often see from the Christian community.  While my life was falling apart because of my drinking there were plenty of folks who were talking about me behind my back.  Some even passed judgement on Jen, assuming she knew things she didn’t.   The fact is I had many people close to me fooled.  And when our world came crashing down it was obvious who wanted to stand by us.  

In closing I want to invite you to consider how you respond when the chair crumbles out from under someone you know.  Do you stare, laugh and accuse?  Or do you rush to his or her side, making sure the person knows he is loved and cared about.  If you do the latter, you will not only be blessing the person struggling to get footing, you will also be following in the footsteps of Jesus.  And when that happens, lives change.  Yours, the person on the ground, and those who are watching!

What We Do With Halloween

Halloween is coming fast.  Some run to it, while some run away as fast as they can.  Some turn their lawns into graveyards, while others turn off the lights and pretend they aren't home.  The question I wanted to ponder is, "What really is Halloween and what do my family and I want to do with it?"  This is not a proclamation of what all people should do.  It simply is an explanation of how Jen and Mike arrived to celebrate the day (or not) as we do.

Halloween actually means "Holy Eve" (The American Desk Encyclopedia Steve Luck, Oxford University Press, page 365).  It seems to be originally a Christian holiday set aside to remember the dead.  In countries where the day has remained more faith-based, people often put candles on graves of loved ones.  There is some debate as to whether or not the Christians "Christianized" a pagan Celtic feast, but I'm actually not interested in that for the purpose of this post.

The bottom line for us is that no matter what the intentions were originally, what Halloween has become is a celebration of darkness.  We witness a slew of scary movies flooding the networks.  Michael Myers, Freddie Kruger, and Jason are movie characters that many of us are familiar with.  I walked into a local store recently to look for a costume for my wife and was greeted at the door by a robotic demon-possessed young girl, twisting her head back and forth. (I think it was the little girl from The Exorcist).  There was also another automated little girl on her knees in a bloody nightgown, with scars on her face, asking for my help, and there was a werewolf that popped up from behind a tombstone.  Once inside the store I saw other creatures and characters that were either meant to scare or seduce.  There was blood and guts galore, or sexually charged female versions of your favorite super heroes.

I was only in the store a little while before deciding they weren't getting my business.  But something happened while I was there.  It became clear to me that our family doesn't NEED to be a part of this.  We don't need to walk around our local community only to have our children come home scarred by costumes they saw.  My responsibility as a parent is to protect my children from things that would instill fear in them.

Even as I write this I can hear readers suggest I'm a "prude" or that I'm sheltering my children too much from the world.  I would inform anyone who reads this that my children are very aware of evil.  In fact, we make it a point to educate them about the source of evil.  That's right, Satan himself.

The question now is, how can we be culturally relevant and responsible at the same time?  We certainly want our kids to be able to dress up in fun costumes and to interact with other kids.  So we came up with a plan!  The Quimby's will take our kids to some houses of some close friends on Halloween so they can show off their costumes.  We will keep them home after that so they can hunt for candy that we hide in the house.  Truth is the kids loved the idea when we presented it.  They have no desire to go out and be scared.  They don't like darkness let alone embrace it.  And I love that.

We are also hosting an event for our church during the day on Halloween where kids can dress up in their costumes, make some crafts, eat hot delicious food and go trunk or treating (a relatively new tradition where children walk from car to car and receive goodies from people's car trunks). And the main focus of the event will be the reading of The Pumpkin Patch Parable by Liz Curtis Higgs.  During the reading of it, a pumpkin will be gutted and carved to represent God's transformation of us from the inside out if we choose to trust Him as Savior and Lord.  And it ends with a light being put inside, representing the light of Christ shining through us.

That's what we want people to take from our celebration.  Not death and darkness.  In Luke chapter 1, verse 78-79 we see that Jesus came "to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."  Rather than protesting Halloween, or sticking our heads in the sand as it comes and goes, we make good use of it.  We want to ourselves remember that "God did not give us a spirit of fear" (2 Tim. 1:7) and help others understand that by Jesus' death and resurrection, the grave has been overcome!  The light has overcome the darkness!

That's what we do with Halloween.  May God help you find light in the midst of darkness!
 

A Lesson Learned

When I was a young boy of about 9 or so, some friends and I were playing in the neighborhood as we often did.  An older couple down the street had a nice garden in their back yard and among the produce were some beautiful, bright red tomatoes.  They were so nice that I thought my mom would love them!  So I picked them out of the garden and brought them home to her.  But instead of her greeting me with a warm hug of thanks, she was understandably quite upset.

Mom informed me that I would be taking them right back to the home they came from!  What I had done as wrong.  "It was stealing," she reminded me.  And because the house was so close, she was able to stand in the door and watch to make sure I carried out the deed.  I delivered the goods back to the rightful owner, apologized and returned home - embarrassed and sorry I had done it.

Last night we went to a local store to pick up a few items as a family. Like all children, ours love to touch glass. Windows, doors, mirrors, it doesn't matter! If they can leave their mark they will! Lately I've been struggling to come up with ways to help our little ones become better listeners. After telling one of them a couple times in the store to stop touching a mirror, the temptation became too great and he gave in. Then the perfect idea came to me. 

I informed Jen of my plan, to which she responded with a big smile.  Then I calmly took him to a store employee and explained to the young woman that my son was having a tough time listening.  I asked if it would be ok for him to clean some glass.  She thought it was a great idea and proceeded to hand me a bottle of all natural (safe) glass cleaner and some paper towels. 

My son and I cleaned the mirror. When we were done I walked him back to where the young lady was and I asked him to walk to her and return the cleaner. He did it - slowly, but he did it!  He was well aware of his offense and when asked, he affirmed that he would not be touching mirrors when we go out.

God gives us instructions in His Word.  Sometimes it's not until after we commit an offense that we realize it was in fact an offense.  Like me with the tomatoes.  To be honest I don't remember whether or not I knew I was doing something wrong!  But it was a relevant illustration so I'll blog on :-).  Other times we are warned over and over not to do something and we defy orders anyway.  

In either case the hope is that there is a contrite heart following the act.  One of the promises I have learned to love comes from 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 

My son didn't know how to clean glass.  He hadn't done it before.  And when it came time for him to carry out his penance, I didn't send him off to the clerk to retrieve the supplies and get the job done.  I WENT WITH him.  I showed him how to spray the bottle and wipe away the smudges and the streaks from the cleaner.  

When I blew up the world of my wife and kids with my addiction to alcohol, God knew I was sorry for all the hurt I had inflicted.  And once everything was out in the open with my family, that wasn't the end of the healing process.  It was just the beginning.  And boy did the truth hurt.  Confession and owning our "stuff" is hard work.  It was not easy for my son to go with me to get the cleaner from the young lady at the store.  But he didn't have to do it alone.

I didn't want to own the things I needed to because I thought it was going to be too hard.  I didn't want to face people and tell them how I had deceived them.  I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to see their responses.  I didn't want to feel the pain of realizing how I had hurt them.  I finally got to the point where I realized that if everyone else turned away from me, I had Jesus.  That's no small thing!  There was a point that was all I knew to be true and it was enough.

When we blow it with others and need to confess and do the right thing, GOD GOES WITH us!  Jesus made it very clear before he returned to His Father following the resurrection when he said, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20b).  In Joshua 1:5b God says "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  

The truth is I wasn't ever alone, even in my darkest hour.  I wasn't alone while I was living a lie, and I wasn't alone when I came clean.  And I'm not alone now as I press on in ministry, helping others find HOPE in the midst of their darkness.

So we can be assured that He continues to be with us.  Just like my mom watched over me as I walked those tomatoes back to their rightful owners, and I went with my son to fetch the cleaning supplies, God always has us in His sights and walks along side of us.  We can count on Him and lean on Him, even when we are embarrassed and the hurt seems too much to bear.

That's my lesson learned.

A Battle in Every Home

Last week my wife and I went to see War Room, the latest creation by writers Alex and Stephen Kendrick (Fireproof, Courageous).  Without going into a lot of detail I thought it was well done.  Quite often I find myself somewhat disappointed in what the Christian community produces in terms of full length feature films, but this one was powerful.  

As we were getting ready to leave last Thursday to head to the movie, we noticed a substantial amount of yellow jacket activity outside our boys' bedroom.  Over the course of the week we had been encountering them in the house.  Not a lot - just one or two here and there.  However, a glance out the window on that night revealed they were entering and exiting through the soffit.  I walked outside figuring I would do the manly thing and unload some projectile poison in a can.  I managed to kill a few and significantly irritate some others.  In any case we decided a call to the exterminators the next morning would be a good idea.

Friday came and the kids were all dressed and ready to be taken to their respective institutions of early learning.  I called the exterminator and happily arranged for a mid-afternoon appointment. At that point I decided it would be a good idea to begin tapping on the boys' ceiling to see if I could determine where the activity was.  How or why I found this to be the right thing to do still perplexes me.  Chalk it up to curiosity I guess.  In any case, I began to hit the ceiling with my fist lightly and lo and behold I broke through! Partly, mind you.  But the buzzing became very pronounced.  So much so that I thought I should duct tape the breach as soon as possible.

After returning with a partial roll of the wonder product I decided once again it would be a good idea to see if there were any compromised areas around the hole I had already created.  With my right index finger I began to poke and on the first attempt I succeeded in sticking my finger into the mother ship!  That's right - they began to come pouring out!

Some went right for the window.  Others immediately dropped to the floor.  And others clung to the walls most likely in shock of their newfound surroundings.  People have asked how many many there were, but I did not stick around long enough to count them!  I did that one thing I could think of, I ran!!!  Down the stairs (after closing the door behind me) and into the garage where I kept my supply of chemicals created to inflict yellow jackets and other such pests with an almost instant death!  (Please note that my children were outside waiting for their dad to take them to school.)

I ran back into the house and up the stairs, opened the door and began spraying.  There was white foam flying everywhere: on the curtains, the windows, the walls, the carpet, the toys, the stuffed animals and most importantly on the hole through which the evil beasts were entering! I bought enough time to wipe the area around the hole clean so I could put some duct tape over it which held the attackers at bay.  I again called the "bug man" to update him on the situation and he assured me that someone would be coming later and that the duct tape was a sound solution, albeit temporary.   

He indeed did come mid-afternoon, cut a hole in my ceiling and removed a very large yellow jacket nest, assuring me he got it all.  I started to watch him through a very fine crack in the door until I began to feel ill and decided he didn't need my assistance.  After he was done I met him outside where he was carrying two plastic grocery bags weighted down by a mix of yellow jackets (both dead and alive), drywall, some insulation and mostly nest.

I thanked the man who's name was John and he was on his way.  When I went back upstairs I had a chance to assess the mess.  I knew there would be much work ahead and that the boys' bedroom would be off limits for a few days.  But the immediate danger was gone.

Why did I share all that?  For many reasons.  It brought to mind all kinds of spiritual insights, the most significant to me is the idea of the battles we face in our homes.  

John told me that the nest had been under construction for a while.  It wasn't as if the queen and her companions moved in overnight! The fact is we didn't notice anything until the nest was well established inside the house.  John also informed me that even if he had "dusted" from the outside it would have just driven them into the home where they would have penetrated the ceiling without my help.

It all could have been avoided with some periodic checks.  A simple walk around the house to observe if there was any activity would have alerted me to the presence of the yellow jackets.  But I wasn't paying attention.  And because I wasn't paying attention to my home the enemy was allowed to set up camp and build an army.

I hope it's becoming more clear where I am going with this. Whether the "home" is your dwelling place or your body it is easy for us to get lazy and let the enemy set up camp.  For me, as I began to drink alcohol in larger quantities and earlier in the day,  the enemy was establishing ground.  And all along I thought I had it under control.  That was until I was shaking so badly in my bed on May 2nd of 2014 when I realized I was in trouble.  I ended up in the hospital for 5 days and spent 18 days in a rehab facility after that.  I wasn't keeping an eye on my home.  I got sloppy and careless.  

Just like my poking around the ceiling I was playing with fire.  I will say that I'm so grateful to be on the other side now, recovering well due to my faith in Christ and a ridiculously gracious wife.  But I didn't have to get there in the first place.  Had I trusted someone when I started to slide I could have easily gotten help.  Had I been paying attention I could have, by the power of God's Spirit been turned around.  But I didn't and the result was a big mess that left my wife and kids in turmoil.  

Maybe you think like I did that you aren't hurting anyone by your decisions.  Maybe you can't even see that you are in fact harming yourself.  As I write this I pray that you will realize the one simple bet at the casino can lead to financial ruin.  That drinking left unchecked can end with sickness and death.  That one glance at the pornographic website can lead to relationships and families being destroyed, not to mention the corruption of your own soul.  Those little compromises with integrity can become out of control faster than you realize.  Are you hiding financial dealings or spending from your spouse?  Are you dabbling with drugs and hope your parents don't find out?  Are you having lunch or spending time with someone at work without proper boundaries?  Do you have a problem telling the truth?  

I can attest to the fact that there is destruction as a result of these kinds of behaviors.  I've seen it.  There are things in my life that will never be the same because of my carelessness.  And just because I'm healthy now doesn't mean there isn't still cleanup to be done.  I continue to encounter people I need to make amends with for lies I told or simply because I pretended to be someone I wasn't.  The boys' room required some work after the danger was gone for it was a mess!  

And just because I am restored by the power of Christ doesn't mean I can let my guard down.  In fact I believe the enemy wants my family now more than ever because of our victorious testimony.  But defeat can't happen if I stay close to the One Who ultimately won the battle by dying on the cross for my sins.  That victory only comes with a relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you have been doing battle and your life is a mess, God wants things to be different for you.  He wants to come in and clean out the destruction and replace it with peace.  But He won't barge in. You need to surrender.  Find someone you trust to confess to and allow the Spirit of God to begin to transform your life into one of complete victory!  It begins with confessing to Him that you can't do it alone and that you want Him to be the leader of your life and the forgiver of your sins. If you need help with this step I'd be happy to help!  Once you have made this decision make sure you let someone know - a mature Christian friend or a pastor.

In conclusion; be prepared.  If your home is in good order, continue to do regular maintenance.  Spend quiet time with God.  Read and study the Bible.  Dare to find someone you can confide in.  Someone who is trustworthy who you can share the good, the bad and the ugly with.  If your home isn't in good order, call on the One Who can change things around for you! If you take these steps, the yellow jackets can't move in without your knowledge.  If you do these things, you will see trouble brewing and be able to proactively ward off an attack from the enemy.

And remember what is written in Proverbs 21:31, "The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the LORD.  

Be blessed and be a blessing today!

Mike 

Don't Get Too Comfortable

I remember pulling out of my father's driveway when I was 22 years old.  My Volkswagen Fox towed the packed Uhaul with just about all my earthly possessions toward Salisbury, NC. That was the first time I moved away from home.

Three years later I packed a larger Uhaul as I transitioned from Salisbury to Western NY.  That was in 1998.  From August 16, 1998 until August 23, 2015 I served the same church. In those 17 years I met lots of beautiful, faithful people.  I grew in many ways and had many challenges.  One important note to make is that after that amount of time things can get comfortable!

The problem with that is as believers, we shouldn't be comfortable in our walks.  Please understand what I'm saying.  We should have peace, joy, and an internal confirmation of our eternal destiny.  Bt we shouldn't get comfortable.  Why?  Because when we get comfortable we get lazy and caught off guard.

I recently heard a news story about a guy who was bitten by a rattlesnake while trying to snap a selfie.  The bite resulted in the doctors having to remove his hand.  He got too comfortable.  He got lazy.  He ignored the multiple series of rattles produced by the snake.

"Crotalus horridus (1)" by Tad Arensmeier from St. Louis, MO, USA - Timber Rattlesnake. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:
Crotalus_horridus_(1).jpg#/media/File:
Crotalus_horridus_(1).jpg

In Ephesians 6:12 we learn that "...we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."  And we better believe these powers are out to get US!  What better way is there for the enemy of God's own people to gain victory than by sidetracking a believer.  I know because I spent a long time being sidetracked.

I've been sidetracked by many things, even by addiction.  I'm sure there are some out there who could use me as their excuse for not following Jesus.  I've lied, I've deceived, and I've manipulated.  I regret that.  I've asked for forgiveness wherever I can, and people have been gracious.

But you know what?  Even though I have failed time and time again God still choses to forgive me.  And because of that I fight.  I fight almost every morning when I sit with my cup of coffee in my den, talking to God.  I fight when I'm singing words of praise.  I fight when I read God's Word (the Bible).  I fight when I stop doing what I'm doing to speak a word of encouragement.  Sometimes I fight by responding with kindness when I'm attacked with harsh words.  I fight when I teach my children about Jesus.  I fight when the enemy tries to cause enmity between Jen and me.  And I fight when I step out in faith.

The point I hope you take away from this post is that we are at war all the time.  If you are a child of the King (followers of Christ), then you are a "wanted" person.  You are especially "wanted" if you are being effective for the Kingdom of God.  

So here's the warning - don't get comfortable.  Don't flirt with danger.  Take this faith walk seriously because there is a lot at stake.  If you don't, you just might get bitten!

Thanks for stopping by

I am a crazy, extrovert and typical youngest child. I feel I have a heart like David but a mouth like Peter.  I am obsessed with coffee and ice cream.  I have been in full time ministry for nearly two decades.  I began in youth ministry followed by a transition into technical arts and worship directing. Now I’m embarking on a new adventure as a Worship Pastor - partnering with a former colleague while relocating a church into a local movie theatre.  

My wife Jen and I have been married for 10 years and we have twin sons and a daughter.  Our story is like a rollercoaster ride.  From grief, my own infertility, putting ministry needs above the needs of my family, battles with addiction to experiencing forgiveness that only comes from an amazingly gracious God.  

I am one of those bossy, music types who thinks everyone hears everything going on in my head.   Did I mention if I had been in the educational system today I would most certainly be diagnosed with ADD?  I play the piano, guitar, bass, cello and some percussion.   Writing music with my wife is something I feel God uses to draw us together.  In fact we hope it brings meaning and encouragement to others as well!

For fun I am a sports fanatic.   I used to be one of those people who would have 2 TV’s going at one time, watching different games while listening to the radio.   I love the Buffalo Bills and continue to be a fan.  I think it’s just in my blood.  The Sabres are my NHL team and concerning college athletics - GO BADGERS!  

A pre-season game against the Carolina Panthers in 2015

Bucky!

I have struggled with an addiction to alcohol and it almost destroyed my life.  Through that I’ve learned a lot about myself and how much God loves me.  There are times in life when God needs to bring us to the threshing floor to refine us.  I was one of those people who needed some extra beating to really get it.   While I am still a work in progress I am grateful for a loving heavenly father whose love never fails, never gives up, never runs out.  It’s because of His great love I am able to have a second chance with my wife, children and my life.  His grace has provided this next chapter and it is my desire to help others who may also be struggling with addiction.  I want them to know there is hope and that we have a gracious heavenly Father who is the God of second chances.

To Him be the glory!