Too Busy to Be Still?
Mike Quimby
“We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.”
Life is absolutely a balancing act. There are 24 hours in a day and I have to make choices about how I spend those hours. We are a busy family but I do not wear that term “busy” as a badge of honor! I actually despise the word to be honest. A dear friend of mind says she uses the word Crazy instead.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines BUSY as: “engaged in action…being in use,” and “full of activity.”
My day is most certainly full of activity! I have three active children who are each in two activities right now. My husband has evening commitments which take him many places. He leads a recovery group in the jail, a recovery group at the hospital, along with rehearsals and meetings. Our three littles are involved in dance, karate, swimming and Awana. There are months I host a book club for women. Currently, there are over 20 women at my home weekly for Bible Study. God has also placed a special place in our hearts for couples who are struggling in their marriages and people who struggle with infertility and grief. We see how God has worked in our mess and we greatly want to share His hope with others.
As you can see the schedule gets full! And I am sure many of you understand this or have much more challenging calendars. I sometimes feel people wear their “busyness” as a badge. Do we feel more important the more stuff we do? How many committees are we on? How long do we work? How many activities are our children in? I think we feel a sense of accomplishment with all the activity we cram in? But is it healthy? What are we really gaining? Please don’t get me wrong, these are all good things we are doing but at what point is it too much? And certain seasons bring about more activity than others. However, at which point is too much too much …. this point varies from person to person. I think balancing is the key. And are we honoring God with all we are doing? This one can sting a little bit but it’s something I know we’ve needed to take an inventory of in our household.
I like order and having a plan! Mike and I both function best when we are both on the same page for the day. We pretty much make a game plan in the morning. Who is taking who where? What time does this meeting start? What will be for dinner and what time will dinner be? We don’t want our children to be feeling like ping pong balls going to place to place. We also want them to feel a sense of peace and rest. And while we have many different things in our schedules, we also schedule down time and rest. There are certain evenings we have absolutely nothing to do. We know we need this as individuals but also as a family. There are certain days we will not allow anything to be scheduled. There have been some really fun activities and outings our family has not attended because we needed a pause or stillness.
Here are some tips which have helped us
- We discuss what each activity looks like for our children and family. Since the kids are in school all day they’ve had their own day of work. Mike and I both work full time outside of the home. While my teaching schedule is set to certain hours, Mike’s hours are dependent on different commitments and needs for the week. So the day and time of the activity needs to work for all of us.
- While our children may want to do tons of different things we only allow them to participate in certain things. There are 24 hours in a day and seven days each week. We don’t feel each day needs to be filled with activity.
- Mike and I carve out time each morning to talk about our day (Pow Wow) we talk about the activities, what’s for dinner or evening commitments and then pray together. It’s helps us know the plan, be on the same page and connect. Once we’ve each had our quiet time alone we meet together. Then its lunch making time, getting kiddos dressed and ourselves ready for the day. Oh did I mention there is quite a bit of coffee and tea drinking beforehand! LOL
- We plan days which have nothing scheduled because we all need rest and peace. I also think kids need to be bored. Then they use their creativity. Something recent we started doing with the kids is called quiet time. It was something a women in my book club mentioned and we really liked the idea. There are days when the kids have to do something quiet. There is no technology used or TV watching happening. They can rest, they can play quietly in their room, read magazines or books. It’s not a time of talking but being quiet. It really is a good skill for us all to learn. I know my own mind and soul needs my quiet time each morning. It’s in the quiet God often speaks to me. We feel we are starting to build this concept into our children.
- We eat dinner together most nights at the kitchen table. Our dinner “menu” is planned in our morning pow wow! Mike and I realized earlier last year we often fed the kids supper while we stood at the counter for dinner. This didn’t feel right to us. It was too rushed, we were not setting a good example for our children and we had to make time to sit around a table to eat. There is something so special about being gathered around the table together. Once everyone has their spot and is finished arguing about who sits by who and who gets the red cup, we eat!!!! The conversations are special moments and often entertaining. Plus we continue to work on table manners!!! We have a special dice we roll each night with different prayers on it. Mike has also recently added trivia questions to the dinner table conversation.
Recently, I did something I had not done in about a year and half. I scheduled a manicure and pedicure for myself. My husband was very supportive and made sure he was home in time for me to make my appointment. I felt guilty even scheduling it. How often do we feel guilty for doing things for ourselves? There are always so many other more pressing matters to be done or so we think. What was so wonderful about it was the salon was not busy at all, it was so peaceful and quiet. The best part was a women who I know just happened to be in the salon too. Just the two of us getting pedicures. It was for sure a God ordained appointment and not just for our toes. We talked with one another about life’s happenings. She shared with me some great wisdom about something near and dear to my heart. Her life experience helped me understand the depth of a new adventure our family is just starting.
Sometimes we need a little stillness and peace. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10, “Be Still and Know that I am God.” We too often over schedule ourselves and are too busy. See, there is that word again! There are times when God wants us to be still so we can feel His Love, His Peace and His Guidance.
So the lesson for me is I feel more peace when I LET GO of the calendar schedule and don’t over schedule. And I hear God’s voice when I schedule time for Him, and me. So as we dive into a full holiday schedule these two things will be part of the plan. More stillness and less planning!
So dear friend maybe you are finding you need a more peaceful, tranquil spirit. I truly believe you will hear from God more if you slow down some and be still.
